This post is for Steve.

Seriously, there is no other reason for this post.

Maybe later I'll post something important.

Or maybe not.

FOOD!

OK peeps! I have a nifty little question for you.

What do you think is the most beneficial or all around awesome food ever created?

Now think about it some. I'm not asking for your favorite food. Nope, I wanna know what you think is the greatest culinary creation for the masses that has ever been borne.

In my opinion, the tortilla is the most versatile and awesome food ever. It eliminates the need for utensils while eating. It makes every thing taste better. It comes in different sizes and base substances. It is filling without a ton of empty calories. I could go on and on.

OK, your turn! tell me what you think and give us good reasons.

Arguing With Irrational People is Fun!

Hi everyone, sorry for such a long delay since my last brain vomit and all, guess I had nothing to say longer than a tweet for a while.

So, I'm writing a post for dear melbel. Cause she's SPECIAL. Oh wait, was that OFFENSIVE? Damn. Look at me. I'm such a fucking prick.

Anyway

Somehow I never get sick of toying with the people that just cannot seem to grasp the concept of "life" online. No matter how many times people send out spam emails full of viruses, someone is stupid enough to open it. No matter how clearly you explain something, someone is always stupid enough to misinterpret it. Oh, and think EVERYONE else that gets it is wrong instead of the rational decision most people can make that maybe they are the one that is mistaken. There is always someone willing to click that link thinking they are the millionth visitor to some page. There is always someone correcting grammar when it was incorrect on purpose. There is always someone that doesn't "get" lolcats. If you don't know how the Internet works, you should leave it. Let's make it simple shall we? If you venture out to another country where the customs and language are not your own... the decent person learns the ways of the country or goes home, never to return. STOP BEING A MEXICAN IN THE CALIFORNIA THAT IS TEEFURY.

CAPICHE?

just in case you were not offended yet:

All Hail The King of America

I got this sent to me in an email and felt it was worth sharing. When did Americans become such pussies? I mean, I know my "political beliefs" don't coincide with very many people, but holy fuck they USED TO. Every time I post anything remotely political on Twitter, I get followed instantly by a slew of Conservative sites. Sometimes I follow them back, and it's true I've found a few people on my own, but when did the Republican Party get infiltrated by such non-Conservative representatives? There seem to be a lot of people that think I'm Libertarian as well. OK that's closer, but I'm so not into pot heads. I've looked into a ton of those 3rd party groups actually, and none of them really fit. Where is the Live and Let Live party? Where's the I'll Leave You Alone Unless You Bother Me party?

I do love that The Messiah's affair with America is waning so quickly. It's slightly reassuring that people are beginning to see through his thinly veiled plans. Too bad there's nothing they can or will do about it. Personally, I hope he fucks things up SO badly Americans will be forced to reevaluate how they put people in office. The thing I want MOST for America at this point is for everyone to think to themselves how little they really remember about the Constitution. Did you know there are schools now that don't require kids to learn anything about civics? What the FUCK is that about? Jay Leno can walk around and find "anyman" on the street that grew up right here and knows nothing about any of the people in the current government or how the government works. WHAT? This is not a feudal system people. The President is not the end-all decision maker. (No matter what Bush may have told you) We live under a democracy. That means you can choose who works for you. That means that you ought to investigate the person asking for your vote past what a great orator they are. It truly astonishes me that BHO came out of Chicago, which is well known for it's corruption to people even outside of the state, and just automatically assume he's legit because he SAYS he is. Don't any of you find it remarkable that just about everyone he nominates to any position turns out to be corrupt? Is it not ODD to you that as he finds people tolerating his cabinet proposals less and less, he simply adds more czars? If the Congress says he is out of line, he draws a new one. that's not part of the Constitution people. Srsly. This man is going to suck the life out of America just as long as we let him, I HOPE that the administration CHANGES in 4 years rather than 8. In 4 years time, he shouldn't be able to demolish too much of our way of life in a way that is irreversible. Making everyone poor so there are no poor people is not how life works. If he IS able to change too much, I fear a large number of Ruby Ridge type scenarios will go down soon after. I know my ass will be living far away in some cabin trying to be all self-sufficient long before it gets out of hand. I want no part of it. I don't want anyone else paying my way and I sure as fuck don't intend to pay for anyone else.

Guess that makes me a target. Not that I care. Your Gestapo doesn't scare me, I'll think how I want. According to your new list of people to watch out for, we are covered by nearly every line. That's fine. I consider myself a Patriot. I was raised in the atmosphere of fighting for America from ALL threats, both foreign and DOMESTIC. Sure I'll render to Caesar his due, but I'm not for one minute going to stand by and be silent while you ruin the greatest country that ever was. I'll tell all 12 of my followers exactly what I think, and most of them will disagree. The shepherd that misleads his flock has earned the worst curses for himself.

Enjoy your forever then.

Stop Taking Life So Srsly. Srsly.

After spending the last day or so lolcatting up the fury for no reason other than my own amusement, I have determined a few things. First of all, it has occurred to me just how easy it really is to pick out the people that are honestly insane from those of us that enjoy pretending. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. It's really not about proving one's point to unknowledgeable oafs. Most people learn on some level that changing the world isn't about forcing everyone to think like you do. Some people just cannot or will not accept that mind control is truly impossible. Every nation that has attempted such a thing has not only failed, but become infamous for being drastically wrong in theory. So why is it that we find what seem to be perfectly reasonable people that are so astonishingly narrow minded they rigidly oppose any thinking other than their own? Sure it's OK to think someone a complete dumb ass for disagreeing with you, and its OK to voice it too. What troubles me is the incapacity to see that you are not a god and therefore will not make them see what you see? Rational people explain themselves, even show others why their side is the right side of the fence. They don't get stymied by someone continuing to disagree. Tonight, for instance, every person on the thread was trying on some level to be funny, save one.

(For those of you that think this is in response to dear Adder, well we all know he is irrational sometimes. That's not news, nor does he trouble me cause he can be funny about it. Besides, I'm pretty sure that sometimes he is faking it.)

It's not just the fury, it's something I've noticed is way to prevalent on the Internets. Another for instance: people that believe in a god get mocked for it pretty commonly online. People that believe in a god live an AVERAGE of 8 years longer than those of no faith. Whether "god" is true or not, I would THINK self preservation is smarter than not? I mean, don't get me wrong, I AM after all an Anarchist. I fully believe that strength would be better found in survival of the fittest, not in banding together to take care of the weak. Which brings me back to my point. When did humans become so redundant and retardedly lame? Lolcats are funny. Period. I have so fucking many of them I could hold entire conversations without typing a thing. Some people really hate them. They get so mad when I post tons of them. RATIONALITY says you would stop looking at them. Nobody does that. They get heartburn instead. That's just insane.

Does rambling aimlessly make me insane? Certainly not. I makes me an asshole that refuses to make things easier to comprehend just because I didn't feel like editing.

Here are a couple derby subs. As most of you know, i only have PS elements and next to no experience with it, so forgive me for butchering Billy's work. We have another design we intend to submit, but my incredible lack of votes is getting me convinced it's a useless endeavor. I wanted us to put up 3 vastly different ideas (thx MJ for some epic inspiration/advice and to zenne for making magic) to get a feel for what type of Billy's work "the people" liked best. so far I guess people marginally like morbid over romance. Good thing, he likes that better anyway. I truly hope our next entry "belongs" on a shirt better than these do and that I can live up to coloring the cool shit he draws without making them look terrible. I'll post again when I've subbed the new one, but it might be a while.

Sorry Bout That Folks.

I have to apologize to everyone. I promise not to let Billy leave posts at 3 am anymore. It seems that not speaking coherent English is not what everyone wants to read or comment on. Who knew? And no, I have no idea why he labeled it i, and neither does he. I do hope he posts still, but I hope future posts are more to every one's liking :)

This is also the only thing I could think of to segue back into the normal post stream...

Why the hell are they still talking

Have you watched any t.v. latley? How about the any news? CNN? MSNBC? CNN's headline?
Well if you have been so unfortinate too catch any then of these wonderful daytime shows then
why the fuck is are President and leader sitting there and telling us that this is the most economic depressed times since the great depression? Or that our state of finanicial ruin is greater then they first calculaited ?
I will answer this for you all in a few days comming. I want to see if what i think is gonna happen, happen. So sit tight and dont let you Obama bugs bite, I will answer what needs tobe asked. "Just how fast does a cheeta run?">

Firewalls Are Made Of Satan

OK so we spend a leisurely few moments reconfiguring that blasted wireless router so poor Billy can has types again. Simple.

HA

Not so much.

Firewalls hate the AIM. OK, no biggie. Turn off that one cause those other two will be just fine. (I'm entirely too paranoid, I know.) Still massive AIMfail. Cry. Get headache. Start all over. Reconfigure firewall settings. Fail. Turn off the fucking thing again. Closer. Nope just kidding. Sigh. Drink chocolate milk to ease the heartburn coming. Pour through all files in the computer to see what firewall exactly is causing such distress. Windows firewall had been re-instated by default when I turned another one off. DOH! But... But... I ALREADY HAD FIREWALLS ON WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. Stab windows firewall in the chest. Make it beg me to reconsider. Murder it anyway. All returns to normalcy. Blog about it. Watch people laugh at me. Get revenge later.

fin

Woot is fail.

I was under the impression woot would have something totally awesome today. I had to wait 6 whole minutes for them to bother putting up the new woot, only to be shown a lame fucking fan. As a matter of fact, all 4 woots sucked dirty donkey balls today. I better get some spectacular shit the next time I score bags of crap, that's all I'm sayin.

Attention:

My nifty neato far out funky fresh husband has decided to join as a contributor to this lovely blog. He won't post often, but I can guarantee they will be fun times for all.

Welcome Atombomb!

Kids are fun.

My kids say some of the coolest shit I've ever heard, but most of it I wouldn't share since I'm sure some douche bag cunt would report me to children's services or something. Why is it that American people have decided to utterly pussify their kids? All of them now have to feel equal, no matter their actual value. Parents allow their kids to do anything they please, but don't believe they had anything to do with it when their kid becomes a total fuck-up. One of the most important things my mom ever said to me was to "pick your battles". When i was younger that came in handy, as I embattled way too many people :) but as I became a parent, it was GOLD. Do I care what my son does to his hair? No. That shit grows and he will have to deal with the public repercussions if he looks like an ass. Do I care that he draws all over himself? Nope, that's a precursor to a good career, who cares what other adults think he looks like. Is he getting a tattoo? Sure. In no less than 5 years, he can even decide what he wants to have guilt free. It's his fucking skin. Will my son talk rudely to someone older than he? Nope, not a chance. He knows I'd kill him for starters, but more importantly he knows WHY he ought to give people with a few years on him some respect. They know more shit than he, and they will tell him things if he isn't a tard. Sure he swears at home... have you read the way I type?... but he knows where and when it's appropriate. Most parents lament their kids getting information from the wrong places and experimenting with stupid things. You know, I just don't worry about that shit. My son talks to me. Way too much actually. He knows the life Billy and I led, and he also sees that the little twats his age and even older don't know or do half the things we did at that age. He knows I'll likely have better information on a given subject so why rely on them? What's pitiful in my mind is how few parents bother to give their kids the inside info that would catapult them ahead of their peers. They don't want them to know about the BAD stuff they did. Knowledge and experience are useless if left unshared. You want your kids to succeed in a system set to make them average? YOU are gonna have to give them the edge. Tell them that everyone getting trophies is lame. you know it is, but you smile and tell them they are great. I tell my son he sucked. Then I tell him where he went wrong. Then he does better the next time. It's not about embarrassing them, it's about building a stronger person. "If you don't practice your violin, you will sound like shit" works a lot better than "awwwww poor thing, they just don't know your potential" what horseshit. Remember how Tom and Jerry tried to mutilate each other constantly? Did that cause anyone to do that shit to their peers? Nope. Competition means the best gets that hot pussy(cat) at the end of the show. Now we have Spongebob blowing fucking bubbles to a friend that is funnier and liked more when he is being stupid and/or angry than any other time. Brilliant.

In conclusion: My kid can kick your honor student's ass.

So it turns out my mom, who generously bought the plan that has all of our cell phones on it, decided to change said plan to "better fit our needs". Turns out "our needs" had really nothing to do with Billy and I and everything to do with her. Since she never texts anyone, she REMOVED unlimited texting. Telling us this might have been useful. Just sayin. I presume her brain exploded when she got the bill showing all the pictures I uploaded to photobucket and the text-a-day game Billy and I played for a month from the casino down the street. She hasn't told me the damage yet, but I do not look forward to the future assailment. This will undoubtedly be entirely my fault and I'm sure I'll have to pay for it. Sigh.

It's A Plot I tell you.

Someone I know was complaining that if they really were going to pass out stimulus checks, she wouldn't take one on principal. Well, OK. Then why are you complaining that they are taking your money to pay people that didn't earn it? I mean sure, I get the ire to that, I'm a bit peeved myself. But to refuse to take a check? Um, wouldn't that be the government giving you your own money BACK? Thereby if you refuse it, won't they just give it to someone that [sic] didn't earn it? I think that's what bugs me most about where most republicans heads are. If they were less retarded and did things based on logic and reason, most Americans would still be republican. Somehow, and for some unknown reason, republicans became the party of zealots that do things so hypocritical nobody wants to be a part of them anymore. Mind you, I think the democrats are mostly a mindless bunch of fools that believe anything their Messiah tells them to think. It worries me how blindly EVERYONE in America follows the norm. Sometimes I feel like I woke up in "28 days later" and all that's left around here are perfectly normal looking zombies. I have the distinct impression that this government cannot last indefinitely like we all believe it ought to. I think it would be epic if we somehow returned to "wild west" living with modern conveniences. I would love to be responsible for my own fate entirely like that. Well and the ability to shoot some lazy ass that tries to steal from my property rather than get a job. Wouldn't it be great if we just returned that "rule"? "You may shoot someone that you can prove has legitimately wronged you in some way." Pretty sure that that law alone would negate the need for any other laws, and people would stop being selfish dicks out of necessity. Perfect utopia achieved, balance restored, everyone happy.

You're welcome.

Oh Sarah, why do you treat us thus

So why is it that everyone cares so deeply for what Sarah Palin does? I mean holy shit, she hasn't done anything out of the ordinary by quitting, not just for herself mind you, but... and you won't believe me, but honest.... other politicians have quit their job before. Does no one remember she resigned when she wasn't getting her way with the oil companies? She quit and went and got herself a job where she could follow that path again. This is so characteristically NORMAL for her, and yet it's still causing mass chaos. For why plz? It's doesn't matter why any of these media people speculate she quit. It's clearly obvious that she quit because people were standing in her way on that path so SHE IS MAKING A NEW ONE. Personally, I hope she is joining some uber-patriot guerrilla squadron hell bent on a coup. That would be the most entertaining thing to happen in politics since Ole Hickory decided to have a party at the White House. Someone get some cameras on those windows, we don't want to miss it when the Messiah has to run for cover from someone in lipstick brandishing a seal club.

Where to begin.

Well, supposedly, there are people out there that are mildly interested in the things I have to say. Oddly enough, Twitter doesn't allow for my brain vomit to fully expose my innermost self as much as this medium. So here I am. Yes, there is an adult warning, and anyone that has chatted with me can tell you that I am a downright asshole with little tact. I tend to think a wee bit differently from the rest of you, which often results in my being probationed or banned elsewhere. Guess what? nobody can ban or even MOD my posts here. I will use this place to not get in trouble at woot or keep poor MJ from having a nervous breakdown on the Fury. Well, this will also be a wonderful place to post things longer than 140 characters. Expect to see frequent tirades filled with sarcastic racism and tyrannical fantasies. Srsly. I would also expect just a few too many lolcats. I am quite certain I will offend every single one of you at some point. Strangely enough, I don't care. If you don't mind being belittled and/or abused, please follow along in the merry world I create. kthx.

In conclusion, here's our first lol.